Sunday, August 21, 2011

Dog troubles, crime scenes and other things

So we went on vacation. For the past 5 years or so, we have spent a week at our friend's house in Ocean City, NJ but this year my friend quit her job and was staying with her kids at the shore house all summer. That being said, we had a great week at a place that my husband found on Craig's list. Of course the way I see renting a place on Craig's list and the way dh does is completely opposite. I'm thinking "OMG, who are these people that I'm sending vast quantities of money to? Do they even own the property? Does it really look like the pictures?" I can be a bit of a nightmare. He's thinking..."this is a good deal, the pictures look good, let's send boatloads of money". It can be stressful. Thank goodness for the internet because I could look up everything I needed to know with the exception of what the place really looks like.

After driving for 3 1/2 hours with my kid screaming that he's starving the whole time...he's 13, did I mention that (and the trip is really closer to 2 but traffic sucked), we make it to the place. Everyone is standing at the door, waiting for me to open it and either sigh in relief or go batshit crazy and start rummaging for the fabreze and a shotgun. Don't laugh. This has happened before. Fortunately for my dh and kids, the place was perfect. Clean, musty stink free, all good. We really had a great time. Evil Sid stayed with friends and all was well for the week.

And then we came back. I've been letting my 13 year old walk the dog a lot lately as part of the stuff he can do for an allowance. Even though evil Sid is insane, he's only about 60 pounds and the kid can handle him really well. I've taken many walks with the both of them before I let them go on their own. So one day last week, I see the kid bringing the dog in the driveway as I'm walking across the porch watering flowers. All of the sudden I hear all of this snarling and dog fighting noises. My kid and dog are in my yard, as are a grown woman and her beagle from hell. I walk up to see what's going on and ask her if her dog is ok since obviously the dogs have gotten in a tussle. She says yes and walks away. She doesn't ask about the dog or the kid and she's on my property. Let me say that I have seen this woman many times on my walks and I always try to keep my dog from interacting with other dogs because sometimes dogs (and obviously their owners) can be complete assholes and I just don't want to get into it. Anyway, on to the next bit.

So we think all is well, right? Wrong. We walk into the house and the kid realizes he has blood all over his hand. The dog is dripping blood all over the place. Being "smart" like I am, I bring him into the kitchen and try to stop the bleeding. My dh, the dog hater, is holding wads of paper towels to the dogs ear as I'm calling the vet to see what to do. We neglect to think that when we are not holding paper towels to his head, he is going to shake his head. I bet you can't even imagine what's going to happen next.

MY ENTIRE KITCHEN LOOKS LIKE A FUCKING CRIME SCENE! There is blood spattered everywhere. Up all of the appliances, on every single floor tile, on the cabinets, the backsplash, everywhere you can imagine. It's totally lovely. It took me almost a week to clean it all up. Absolutely unbelievable. Anyway, long story short, dog goes to the vet, gets a whole bunch of shots, antibiotics, his ear fur shaved off and ripped ear cleaned up, and I get a bill for $160. I have yet to see the formerly ubiquitous beagle and it's owner again. I can't wait to chat with her.

The kid is still upset and I personally cannot understand why you would ever let your dog run into somebody else's yard. Especially with a kid involved. I always steer clear because you never really know if kids can handle the wild animals they have on leashes.

Anyway, that's my vacation and dog disaster story. I'm still cleaning off blood splatters.